I just returned from the homeland where I’d gone with other members of our town union to attend the funeral of a member and former executive of the women wing of our town union. This one was particular important for me because it involved the burial of widow, who had no child for her late husband, and was not from our town. She did adopt a child (now ten years old) years after the demise of her husband, who is presently in the care of her maternal uncle. She is also survived by a stepdaughter.
This wasn’t the first time I would be witnessing a funeral for a childless widow, indeed we had one in my kindred whose husband had married another wife and had children by her. Those children buried their childless step mother, and accorded her all her rights while she lived, and even at her death, only that they naturally inherited all that was hers, seeing as it couldn’t have gone elsewhere as she died intestate, and since nothing was contested, there was no need for a probate court.
Hers, had the origins of the story of Ruth. A very remarkable women who opted to take care of her mother-in-law rather than remarry. She even built a house in her late husband’s homestead, and remained steadfast with her husband’s people, village and town of which I belong. She was not the type of widow that wallowed in her loss, rather she was the sort that lived an exemplary life for women who later found themselves in her shoes. She participated actively in activities of her late husband’s people in the homeland, and in our station outside of Igboland.
It was pertinent that the groups she associated with give her a memorable sendforth and that was exactly what we did, alongside other groups she related with while alive. However, our good intentions would’ve amounted to nothing had her husband’s family constituted a cog in the wheel of that progress. Kindly enough they were supportive, and not only was she buried amongst her husband’s people, they allowed a nearly lavish funeral for her, that seemed to perish any thought amongst her immediate family members to stage any form of protestations, had she not been accorded all of the respects due her.
I was much impressed with how things turned out, considering how very patriarchal the Igbo culture could at some times be. My only fear is that of the status of her adopted son, even though her brother appear to be taking care of that aspect, it would be nice if her late husband’s people can accept him as one of theirs, but I’m sure they will not waste time in adducing the many reasons why they may not be in a hurry to move in that direction any time soon. If we are to overlook that part of things though, one can easily say they did right by her in the end, regardless of how things might have played out in the past, as they can also argue that she left them in a very difficult position.
I can safely conclude that more often than not, from the two situations that I have witnessed, concerning childless widows who died without leaving their husbands’ families, they got their dues in terms of final respects. It is my hope that this is the situation allover Anambra State, and indeed all of Igboland, as sometimes childless wives are made to look like they don’t exist in these societies, while alive, leaving one to wonder what would happen should they die, either widowed or otherwise. The two cases I witnessed involved widows, though I’m sure a husband will ensure that his late childless wife get her final respects, which will be estimated according to the level of love they shared, or the exact opposite if they were estranged.
Surely, all went well in this case, because it ended well. May ADAIGWE’S Memory Be A Blessing.
‘kovich
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