I was under no illusions that marriage will be a bed of roses for me, in fact I felt I’d be disappointed if it turned out to be smooth sailing all the way. This is especially because I’m not really an easily likeable person, and I have severally pitied friends who’d had and have to endure my person, talk more a wife with whom I’d have to spend a lifetime with. When I refused to plead the fifth (https://madukovich.wordpress.com/2016/08/05/not-pleading-the-fifth-on-our-fifth/) last year, I said getting married to my wife was one of the best decisions I singlehandedly made in my life. Singlehandedly because I did ruffle a few feathers almost on all sides in making that decision, and though it did come with some consequences, they’ve been thankfully such that I can, and have lived with. Besides my parents and siblings, who didn’t really have much of a choice accommodating my shenanigans, she’s been one of the very few people who could tolerate me even before we tied the knots, and beyond that taken it upon her self to turn me out better than I could possibly be.
Like I said earlier, it hasn’t been rosy all these six years. By the second year, marriage had become largely overrated in my eyes, and I began to feel like if I’d waited till then knowing all that I came to know, I’d have never opted to be married. Then by the third we were actually mulling a separation, not because we were breaking furniture,chandelier or China atop each others’ heads, rather because it seemed we’ve burnt out from having so much of each other. Then we considered divorce though we were sure that if we came to meet each other alone under a shade, we would certainly break any vows we might have made to others (or to ourselves as regards returning to our vomit) we could’ve been married to afterwards, hence under honest review we found that even that was a joke. It sounded funny that we were considering something a friend had jokingly quipped we will have to go to court to do when we were yet unmarried because of how we were almost a pair then, now we were married. Today, when we mention such, we do that jocularly, for lack of heavier words to use during half-baked quarrels, which has almost always at the back of it, expectations of reward by way of makeup sex.
Let me illustrate how I feel about my wife today with a fable. Long ago, when men were men (and women were nowhere to be found), this man and his wife having been delayed at a function they’d attended earlier in the day in a neighbouring village, found themselves in the belly of a thick forest that led to their village on their way back, but had lost their way as they arrived at the forest in the dark. They soon came face to face with some sub-human creatures, famed for making dinners of humans who’d mistakenly crossed their path in the forest, especially at night. On seeing these creatures the man began to shiver in fear, just about every part of him vibrated and the cannibalistic creatures became excited by what they thought would be a sweetened meal, by reason of all of the adrenalin that would’ve suffused the bloodstream of their would-be victim by the time they phlebotomize him. Before they could get down to their business though, the man’s wife started chanting a panegyric about her husband’s prowess, mentioning melodiously how her husband vibrated the last time they found themselves in a similar condition, only for his attackers to mysteriously fall and die on the spot, and went on to mention yet other instances, while the man continued to shake. By the time he opened his eyes, wondering why his head was still on his neck, the creatures were gone, out of fear of what he would do to them after shaking, and his wife smiling out of love for the man he’d once again saved. Glean from that what my wife means to me if you care to.
From the onset, partly owing to my selfishness, I had insisted that we periodically review our marriage to see if we could still go on, and if not, save each others’ time and move on with our separate lives, interestingly when this question will be raised later today at our dinner out, I will be rooting for a stay, over and above an exit, and this is beginning to look like till death do us part, or even an ever after situation, but what do I know? We have found about each other things beside just love, that now makes it in our best interest to be together than apart, and for that I’m very grateful. I fear for what life without her could be like for me, so I cherish every moment life avails me to be with her. For now, it is still a day at a time for us, and while we acknowledge that some others who had better marriages, spiced with all the goodies within still managed to end it, sometimes even acrimoniously, we hope that we can do a decade, two, three or more if we have that amount of time and life to be with each other. Thank you Eni, meLOVEyu!