Relationships are vital aspects of the human experience and we relate to varying degrees and levels with those we meet at different places and on different occassions, while according them varying degrees of respect.
Expectedly, we relate more with people we meet on a daily basis than those we seldom see. One of the sets of people we see daily and are wont to relate with most often are those we work with.
In most work places specific rules are put in place to ensure that relationships are strictly platonic and ‘official’, however one cannot preclude the fact that ‘office’ relationships sometimes go beyond the stipulated to more physical nay emotional areas, than envisaged by company, rules and regulations.
Hence, you find regulations stipulating that the company may not harbour couples in the same organization, hence one of them will have to resign while the other continues. This is a case where the parties involved were unmarried and developed a liking for each other at their place of work before getting hitched.
There is yet an amorous form that’s very prevalent in the todays’ workplace, and that’s workplace relationship between two work colleagues who are either both married or between a married one and an unmarried other.
This workplace relationship between an unmarried person to a married other, or between two married work colleagues or staff, either of the same level or between a superior and a subordinate, of the ‘Amorous’ type is what I’m about in this blog.
Colleagues who engage in this kind of relationship in the workplace try as much as possible to keep their indiscretions secret, not necessarily because of the fear of breaking company rules (especially where one of the parties is in a position of authority and most times when both are in no position of authority) but because of the scandal that will follow seeing that either one or both parties involved are married and hence would have been cheating on their spouses.
They send each other signals that only the very discerning ‘office busy body’ can decode, and that after several days and weeks of dutiful watch and observations of happenings between the parties involved in this ‘slippery slope’.
Any empty and quiet space in the office is an opportunity for making out or a quickie, and for this cause they may decide to come early to work or stay later than others on selected days, becoming very eager to clock ‘overtimes’ just so they can bè together. At the peak of their illicit affair, no space will be considered sacred or even too disgusting to engage in some explorative coitus. They will also find time for out-of-office rendezvous at motels in remote locations where other colleagues and their spouse(s) are not expected to visit.
Back in the office, they may react to each other curtly, or too ‘officially’ or even in the extreme of cases behave like they both aren’t even on ‘speaking terms’, while all the while they are online doing ‘office gossips’, arranging the next meeting, or exchanging sexually explicit pictures and messages on BBM, whatsapp, facebook chat, and seldomly text messages (which are sure to be deleted at close of work, to forestall the possibility of their chats falling into the wrong hands of their spouse(s) at home).
When the going is good, their combination at work brings out the best of them, with results sometimes far beyond expectations. People may even term their combination a ‘winning combo’, without understanding the inspiration behind their work, especially when one is a ‘muse’ for the other.
Unfortunately, the same cannot be said most times when the going goes bad and both fall out, after a mild or serious misunderstanding and/or altercation, as productivity becomes most visibly affected and may even tend towards a low.
All of a sudden someone whose presence once heralded smiles now fills the offended party with disgust, especially if the one took their relationship beyond the casual to become emotionally attached over time. Even the most innocent of smiles or gesture to another colleague of the opposite sex is (in most cases) misinterpreted to mean a dalliance with that person.
Most times the parties make up and resume their ‘sexcapades’ under the former ‘rules of engagement’ or a modified version of same, but at other times they may not and work returns to normal or things spiral out of control for the worse, leading to one of the parties becoming desirous of leaving the company of his/her own accord, or one (a superior mostly) instigating the firing or termination of employment of the other, or (in the case of the subordinate) blackmail of one by the other party to create a situation where one or both parties are fired to serve as warnings to others who may want to career the same path as those who’ve suffered the consequence of their indiscretion.
Relationships, such as described above does not augur well for the individuals involved nor for the organizations they work for in the long run. The effect on their marriges too can be devastating when the nitty-gritty of their relationship eventually come to the open. The betrayal inflames the spouse who may have at one time or the other met with his/her spouses’ work colleague at different occassions without knowing that there was more between them than meets the eye.
The shame, betrayal and anger that will be thus felt by the ‘hurt’ spouse cannot be compared to that to be felt if the offending party had been unknown to him/her, especially if he/she had been faithful.
The same cannot be said for unmarried couples in the same situation, as usually there are set rules that handles such relationships, even when it leads to a marriage.